


Only A Memory

by Strawberry_Teardrops



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Cutting, Eddsworld - Freeform, Fanfiction, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multiple chapters, Slight trauma warning, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Toms confused on his emotions, Toms in denial, maybe smut, slight overdose warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 11:56:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21475636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberry_Teardrops/pseuds/Strawberry_Teardrops
Summary: After watching an explosion and his enemy die, he feels constricted and cant get this man out of his mind.But it turns out... He may finally get his answers through a single book he found and has refused to read each night.But is his enemy actually dead?
Relationships: M/M - Relationship, Tom/Tord (Eddsworld)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Only A Memory

* * *

It had been exactly a year… since #### passed away. I can hardly remember his face. All that's left is… his journal that now sits on my desk, underneath a light of an office lamp.

Whatever…

_ **It was his fault.** _

He had all of it coming… and I'm sure he knew that. No one found a body though… so we assumed he exploded with everything else.

My gaze flickers back to the journal underneath the lamp. Sitting there… waiting to be opened.

_ I doubt anything in that journal could make me forgive him or even pity him. _

Besides… it didn't matter now. He doesn't exist anymore. Why am I so bent out of shape because of all of this.

_Because i'm the one who killed him?_

Its sad how any normal human might feel terrible for ending someone's life, but i'm not a normal human. I'm… just a person and that's all. A person who has no right to tell a story. A person who's so mentally fucked up he has the audacity to turn away from the human he had just killed.

_That person killed someone, but why doesn't he feel guilty?_

Because I'm a bad person who doesn't sympathize with dead morons that try to hurt my friends. It never dawned upon me once that there was a chance he was alive. No way he’d survive an explosion like that… right?

_ **He disgusts me.** _

I stare at the journal one last time. I'm not about to waste my time just yet on this book infected with his horrid thoughts. Maybe in the morning… I’d go through what was in ####’s mind. Maybe I’d find something on why he did the things he did. Why he did things he knew would piss me off. Why he acted like a dick. See why.

_Find out why he did anything._

I lay down in my bed, hearing the whispers in my head, begging me to pick up the leather covered book that lay on my desk under that light. As if it was calling to me for me to read.

I only found this book a few weeks ago when going through his things. I was trying to find things I could sell to help out Edd with things. The book was there… in ####'s lab when we were gathering his old things from the old house. We have them in Edd's closet for now.

On the book cover… it read “####” His name. In fancy handwriting. It looked to be painted on with black acrylic paint, a thin brush. The edges of the book were torn… it was old. Dusty. The book pages were slightly stiff. A gross musty smell to them. Made me slightly gag.

I’d put off reading it every night so far.

** _ I was scared I could find some reason in there to feel sympathy for that bastard. _ **

So I suppose… that's the real reason I haven't dared to open it yet. Trying to convince myself that I could never pity such scum.

Trying to convince myself that nothing he can say or do… no picture of him. Could. Make. Me. Feel. Bad. That he's gone.

His name is unimportant to me.

_You can't speak the name of someone you're trying to pretend never existed._

It defeats the purpose.

But so do my thoughts.

Funny how for someone like me that says I hate him so much… ever since his death he hasn't ever left my mind. Not once. But again- his face is a blur… the sound of his voice and the appearance of his face has slipped from me. Slowly slipping away.

I’ll never miss him.

_ He doesn't exist. _

-

.

.

.

-

Tord who?

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so this work may be difficult for me to update every so often, but I will definitely try if people actually read this. School may keep me busy, but I might end up making a schedule if this does start getting hits. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter.


End file.
